Jan 31, 2011

Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder

Mel over at  a Perfect Peace came up with the idea of the Beautiful Belly Challenge.  The idea is that regardless of how self-concious you are...to others you are beautiful. (Oh, and you're supposed to attach a photo of your belly, but I thought I'd spare you all that.)

I remember growing up as a first generation Arab-American.  I went to school with my unruly thick and curly black hair and ate spinach pies.  My best friend had thin, straight glossy blonde hair and ate a pepperoni pizza.  I felt like an outsider.  The hair on her legs only showed in the sunlight...mine showed ALL THE TIME.  I was picked on and picked on and picked on.  I never felt pretty enough, skinny enough, or cool enough.

And to be honest, a lot of times I still don't.

One day a friend of mine posted a status on facebook that read something like
 "I wonder if the people that I am envious of are ever envious of others?"
Wait, did she really just write that?
I was definitely envious of this girl..she had it all: gorgeous looks & hair, she was smart & cool, and worked at a great job. 
 Who in the world could she be envious of?!
 But then it hit me, no matter how strong or cool a person looks..they always have their doubts about themselves.

I feel a pang of resentment towards myself when I see mothers of three with better bodies than mine.
I feel disappointment when I've gained 1+ pound the day after I've worked my butt off at the gym.
I feel guilty when I see girls thinner or smarter than me.
I feel stupid when the single mom makes better grades than me.
Why can't I be her?
My husband deserves someone like that.

 I'm curious..what are your doubts?


  1. This is awesome! Thanks so much for doing it. I love reading your story. The best part about these for me is just seeing that all women go through the same thing. It's very interesting. Anyway, thanks again. You're beautiful! Have a great day xoxo

  2. is great to write about your thoughts..
    i think every girl has something that they dont feel confident about.. even the prettiest girls..

    I think that you are really pretty.. and look great.. you should not be envious of any other girls..

    yes i understand sometimes when we see girls with kids with better body then us it makes us think that maybe we should do something about our self..

    everyone is different - every girl is different.. and I think that I'm the girl with more insecurities in this world.. am sure all girls think the same...

    I said to myself this year that i would try to make myself look physically better and feel better about myself.. accept my self..

  3. I'm full of doubts sometimes. I try to ignore them but they just pop into my head sometimes! Especially when I meet someone super motivated and driven that seems to have it all together and figured out.. I wonder why i'm such a hot mess? eep!

    Jenn @ Peas & Crayons

  4. hate having doubt, blah. I guess I get house envy. trying to stop that though, pointless really.

  5. Yay I'm so happy you participated in this too! I have lots of doubts, all the time, and they definitely bring me down. But I'm learning to love myself. And like your friend suggested to, there might be people out there that are envious of me and I need to learn to accept that not everyone is perfect, but everyone is beautiful in their own way! xoxo

  6. oh my! don't think so negatively about yourself! beauty is all in what you make it. really! i think you are incredibly gorgeous and can't imagine anyone disagreeing! all the differences among all the people in the world is what makes us all unique. i would never ever want to look like someone else. it's what makes you special! :)

  7. this is a great post. i think as women (and i'm sure men do as well), we all have these thoughts. learning to humbly love yourself is such a mature attitude. thanks for your openness!

  8. great post! it is so true, everyone is insecure about something. for me it would prob be my height and i want to be skinnier.

  9. Thanks for posting this. I certainly am envious of other women and I honestly think sometimes Facebook is to blame. Its hard to see happy pictures and read happy status' and wonder, am I that happy? why am I not thinner? have a better job, etc?

    I think easier said than done to be happy with yourself with envy of others. I think its easier to realize that no one has it all and to point out the things about yourself that you do like and the ones you don't get motivated to change them.

  10. This post struck such a cord with me, mostly because I could identify to most of it. But it also made my heart break to read some of our insecurities about ourselves. How we are the ones hurting ourselves in the end...from what I've seen of your blog, you seem to have it all - the brains, the beauty, the love! Sometimes taking a step back from our own lives and assessing it from the perspective of a bystander, helps =)

    Thanks for this post.

    - Mariam


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