This picture serves no real purpose except that this is how I look 99% of the time, just less glamorous.
Wow!
Thank you all so much for your sweet comments and encouragement yesterday. It's nice to finally have the cat out of the bag! You may have noticed that blogging took a seat on the back burner for a while there, and we can just go ahead and blame it on pregnancy. I was still getting dressed ( I promise!) and heels were still involved ( to the outcries of many), truthfully, I just had no desire to sit and blog. I didn't want to publish something with my name on it that I, myself, wasn't interested in. A lot that goes on in the blogmosphere is copy and paste. There I said it. We tend to blog, pin, tweet, and squeal over the same things and while we may genuinely be fond of whatever it is we're blogging/pinning/tweeting/squealing about..it just no longer feels original. But don't get me wrong. If you truly love something, share it with the world - but do so in your own way. Be YOU!
This isn't a sudden revelation by any means, it's just something that's been on my mind for a long time now. My biggest fear in life has always been living a life filled with regrets. Not really the regret of making mistakes, more so the regret of not doing. Of not trying enough. Of being too afraid to try. I don't ever want to look back and see that an opportunity was missed simply because I was too afraid to put myself out there.
Growing up as a first generation Arab-American was tough. I didn't look like my peers, my name was always the inspiration for jokes, we spoke a different language, celebrated different holidays, the list goes on. Then 9/11 happened and suddenly I was lumped in with the "bad people" category. Add all of that to my shy and ready-to-please personality and you got yourself a kid that was incredibly self-concious. I'm mentioning this only because I've finally come to accept who I am, quirks and all. It took a long time in the making, but I am not bound to any one else's thoughts, actions, or opinions. I am defined by my own character. If my character so happens to like spider necklaces, tutus, and fascinators..then by golly that is who I am.
That is who I want to be.
I used to feel like I couldn't be successful, Arab, Muslim, and a wife all at the same time. Those combinations would never work, especially not here in the U.S. But if I set myself up for that, then that's exactly what I'll get. I don't want to be that mom that tells their child to take the path well taken, only because it's more secure. I want to set the example for my child that you are who you set out to be. Hard work and failure aren't excuses to take a step back - they're the more reason to keep going.
No matter if you're an Arab or a Muslim..whatever ethnic or religious origin you are or you aren't I hope this little post here is the push you needed to go out there and try. No one is saying you'll conquer the world, but at least you'll conquer your fears and be a better person for it.
Thanks for sharing this! I can totally relate as an American Muslim young woman and went through a similiar situation growing up as well. thanks for the inspiration =)!!
ReplyDeletefine photo ;))
ReplyDeletewww.live-style20.blogspot.com
what a great portrait of a beautiful woman!!! look like if Peter Lindbergh has done that pic...
ReplyDeleteYuna
Nice photo. And your welcome!
ReplyDeletewww.therecordologist.blogspot.com
I couldn't agree more...not that it isn't harder than hell to do sometimes, but so worth the challenging yourself and powering through, love it, girl! (c: And I'm late to the party, but congrats!!! Can't wait to meet the little mini you!
ReplyDeleteWell said...beautifully put. I feel the same way most days about posting content that I don't feel. I applaud you for being real....I too can say that I know a thing or two about being different in my environment. I am excited for you and all that you have going on now!
ReplyDeleteCheers!
Beautifully written post. The last sentence was utterly perfect.
ReplyDeleteLove this...such true words! Each line was so true and perfect!! x
ReplyDeletefirst off - congratulations! such great news!
ReplyDeletesecond, the encouragement to "be you" is so important and always needed. thank you for the reminder! this is beautifully written.
Congratulations again my sweet. I'm just thrilled for you and Alaa. You will be loving, supportive and encouraging parents - I have no doubt whatsoever your little babe will grow up confident and sure of him/herself enough to pursue their passions.
ReplyDeleteI also understand 100% what you mean about growing up feeling... uneasy about things. Trust me, Abdul-Baki is NOT the kind of name that blends in with Smith, Jones, etc, and post-9/11 fears were only made worse being just outside DC. Pair that with generally being an artistic/out there type of person... it was not a good combination.
At 27 I can say very happily now that I accept who I am. It has taken a long time, but I'm proud to be different and to be myself, quirks, good bits, bad bits and all. I have survived a bad relationship, unhealthy friendships and other hardships and come out a stronger person by being true to myself. I have told myself exactly what you've set out to do with your children: teach them that not only is it acceptable to be different, it is preferable and something to aspire to. I hope one day they say the same to their little ones.