Becoming momma

38 weeks.  If you had asked me about 8 weeks ago how I would feel at 38 weeks I probably would have said "ready!"  Truthfully, my body is so physically "ready".   Everything aches.    I don't sleep through the night.  I have horrible heartburn all.the.time.  I'm just exhausted.  Plain old physically exhausted.  I hate to sound like I'm complaining because I know there are a million and one people out there that would love to be pregnant and can't.  But I'm just trying to be truthful...pregnancy is amazing.  People are so incredibly friendly and caring.  But it's also hard.  

Then again, isn't the sheer exhaustion of it, part of the beauty?  

Anyways, going back to being "ready".  While my body is achey and sore, my mind is anything but ready for this baby.  It's kind of like fitting a square into a circle.  I know that I'm pregnant (duh.).  We've been preparing for months.  I've bought the diapers, the wipes, the crib, the onesies (so stinkin cute).  But mentally I haven't wrapped my mind around the fact that I'm going to be a mom.  Even typing that makes my heart pound a bit faster.  Growing up, I was always the "mama" of the group, but now that I get to carry that title.  Well, it's a little overwhelming.  

And it scares the crap out of me.  

Taking care of sick kids in the hospital- that I can do.  But being a mom?  

Truthfully, the role terrifies me.